I'll bet you have all been wondering where I've been lately, right?! I'll bet you've been thinking to yourselves how much you miss reading my witty and hilarious posts and hoping with all your might that I would write another one soon. Well, I can't keep disappointing my public, now can I?
To answer your burning questions of "Where the heck is Erika and why isn't she writing some hilarious stuff about her wacky life?" I've actually been in the bathroom. That's right, the bathroom. No, I haven't been using the bathroom for a week and a half, but I have been trapped in the bathroom for much of the time. You see, my stubborn little Eli has refused to learn how to nurse and I haven't got the patience to teach him. I have two other children who need things, particularly snacks and for me to wipe their bums, and I can't be sitting on the couch for an hour while Little Mr. chews me to bits. So, I've decided to pump and feed him from a bottle. The pump has been banished to the guest bathroom, thus I spend most of my day in the bathroom hooked up the the milker and the other half of the day feeding the boy from a slow flow bottle. When they say "slow flow" they mean it, by the way. Now, rather than nurse for an hour, I pump for 10 minutes and bottle feed for an hour. I repeat this cycle ever 2 to 3 hours. Much more liberating - ya right.
I don't know how many of you out there have ever had the wonderful experience of milking yourself with one of those double electric pumps, but it sure brings to mind this one Reading Rainbow episode I saw as a kid where that guy from Star Trek went to a dairy farm and watched the poor cows get hooked up to a milking machine and be milked for all they were worth. I am that cow.
I do very much appreciate my sister-in-law Tammy for letting me borrow her pump so that I can feed my child. I also really appreciate my milk ducts for producing the overabundance of milk they churn out at each pumping. I now have close to 400 0z of breast milk in my freezer. At the rate I'm making milk, I'll be able to stop pumping in a couple months and have enough milk stored to feed the boy until he's 3.
The ironic thing about me being the Mama Cow is that I can play the part, but I can't even partake of any dairy myself! Eli is a little sensitive to dairy, thus I'm drinking soy and not eating cheese or ice cream or any of those foods I love so much. I only eat peanut butter sandwiches. Oh, to have a tall glass of milk with my peanut butter......sigh.
I'd really like to tell you all more about our lives right now and share some more pictures of the baby and how he's growing, but it will have to wait. It's time for me to go pump. MOOOOOO!!!
Baby trey
14 years ago
13 comments:
You have quite a way with words. I was feeling bad for you and laughing at the same time. Sorry you're having so much trouble with the boy, but thanks for making it a funny story for me to read. Are you still going to St. George for Thanksgiving?
I too laughed while feeling for you. Have you thought about contacting La Leche League or a lactation consultant? I've had to pump and feed from a bottle before {only with twins} and it SUCKS! {No pun intended.}
I too cannot have diary while breastfeeding. It's ironic that while I'm pregnant I LIVE on dairy but as soon as I start producing my own milk I can't have another species' milk. Hmm...makes you wonder.
Good luck with the breastfeeding - at least he's getting human milk, regardless of the delivery method. :O) Don't give up though - I bet if you work at it he'll figure it out. Chuck and I had a rough go in the beginning and now he's a puker. What can you do?
I grew up milking cows. You have a much cleaner environment and you don't have to sleep in a stale. It could be worse.
It sounds like you have a great pump. That is a plus. I pumped often for the twins but they also took from the breast so I can't totally relate.
Hang in there.
Have you considered selling your extra milk? Thats what the cows do you know. We buy it up as fast as they produce it.
Erika you are so funny. Sarah thinks I am nuts that I love to read your blog but seriously you crack me up. We really need to get to get together one of these days and see Eli. Deare was here last week and we saw her. It was good to see her in all her twins pregnant glory. No really she did look pretty good!
No comment. I have nothing insightful or even a closely related story to offer. Well... I did spend a week in the bathroom but that was just becuase of Beto's.
I love you Erika! Soo funny! I remember pointing to the cows I could see from looking out my window behind my house and telling them I was one of them now. I didn't have a pump with my first but happily I got a double pump for my second...but it sure is time consuming, a little degrading, and did I mention how long it takes? I'm so sorry - do you need company? Do you need a babysitter? How can I suport you?? I care, cute neighbor of mine!
You kill me. I feel the same way at this point. I have one of the industrial hospital milking machines while I'm in the hospital. Oh what fun and the things we do for our kids. Happy pumping!
It won't be forever.
I kind of liked making milk. It was all squirty and stuff. I thought it was fun.
You have a whole house, basement and all, so why are you pumping in the bathroom!? If you don't want your kids to see you just use your nursing cover and cover yourself up. Apparently that cover I slaved over is not being used for anything else :0) Oh, and now you know how I feel not being able to eat ice cream. I hate it. But, it is better than the alternative.
I've been wondering where you've been. I am so sorry, and yet can't help laughing because you put it so well. You are a good mom Erika. But as for me and my house, we will stick with formula :)
I just wanted to comment on your little Alayna's quote...yes she is prettier than the rest! So glad you are teaching her the principals that she will need to survive high school!
Too funny. I have a pump I used when I was still working. I still use it time to time when I leave Elizabeth with Ian or a babysitter. They are great when you need them, but I prefer to pump as little as possible.
Jenny pumped like that for Kate so I'm sure she can empathize with you. I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't have dairy. I think I'd die. That's why my kids have had no sensitivity to foods I eat. I wouldn't be able to resist the ice cream and we'd all suffer.
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