Holiday Travels: Horrors Edition

As I sit here, watching the snow fall silently and peacefully from the sky, I ask myself one question. "Why the heck are we doing this to ourselves again?"

Last year we decided to go down to St. George for Thanksgiving. So, we packed up our 4 year old, 2 year old, and 7 week old baby and started the 4-6 hour trek in the Jimmy. About 30 minutes into it, we realized it was not going to be a pleasant trip. Eli screamed, and I mean SCREAMED from about Provo on. Jason didn't say much, but I could tell he contemplated rolling us into a ravine more than once on that awful ride. The baby finally calmed down around Cedar, at which point Alayna must have decided it was too quiet and proceeded to puke all over herself, the car, Eli's blankets, and anything else within upchucking reach. For some reason, this woke Eli up and the screaming began again in earnest. We found a rest stop where I changed Alayna's clothes and washed her hair in the sink. I then put her under the hand dryer so she wouldn't be sopping wet in the freezing cold night air. The car seat she was sitting in on that trip has never been quite the same since.

The year before that was even better. It has come to be known as The Worst Car Trip of All Time, the 2007 version. It was my brother's first Christmas on his mission, so we wanted to go down so we'd be able to talk to him. Plus, I figured that our kids were old enough and we didn't have a baby at the time, so it would be the perfect opportunity to make a December drive home. It's kind of sad, really, when I think about how excited I was for a Christmas at home and how quickly the excitement turned to misery.

By the time we'd backed out of the driveway, we already had a flat tire. So, 2 hours and $80 later, we were on the road headed for good old St. George. Fortunately, we had the mechanics put some good cold resistant washer fluid in the car, just in case of inclement weather. We were just past Provo when the snow started. And by snow I mean full on blizzard. Lucky for us we had that nifty washer fluid, right? Yeah, apparently they put the wrong stuff in back at the South Jordan Big O, because whatever it was we were spraying on our windshield was not cold resistant. It would freeze and congeal leaving this thick layer of greenish slime on the windows. Combine that with the blizzard and you have some excellent driving conditions. Jason started pulling over every exit or two, scraping the windshield, and then getting back on the freeway just to repeat the process over and over again.

We stopped at a gas station in Filmore with the hopes of getting rid of the crappy washer fluid and filling it up with something that would actually work. Jason got out of the car and went around to the back of the Jimmy to get something. At that point, he noticed that not only was this washer fluid reeking havoc on our windows, but there was a crack in the little wire thingy that sprayed fluid on the back window. This meant that instead of spraying on the outside of the back window, the fluid had been spraying on the inside, meaning that all of our luggage and Christmas presents were now covered with this lovely green sludge as well. After this happy discovery, Jason skipped merrily into the gas station to purchase some washer fluid and duct tape while the kids and I sat in the car watching Baby Einstein videos. After about 20 minutes and many lovely words exchanged, we finally got the hole in the tubing patched and the new washer fluid installed. We filled up the gas and were ready to rock and roll. Until we realized that our portable DVD player had sucked all the juice from the batteries and the car was dead, that is.

Jason and I exchanged some more kind and loving words, and then he headed out into the blizzard to look for someone who would be willing to help us jump the battery. Not one person at that gas station would help. Either nobody had jumper cables or nobody had 5 minutes to spare. I'm not sure which, but either way, Jason ended up walking down the road in the snow to a car shop. Luckily, there was still someone there and he came over and got our car started again. We paid him some money for his troubles and got back on the road. When it was all said and done, it ended up being about a 8-9 hour drive, versus the 4 hours it normally takes us. The kids were very patient and were kind enough to not throw up, but it was not a good day.

Which brings me to the present. Tomorrow we'll be taking off on yet another holiday adventure to St. George. I swore up and down that the Christmas of '07 would be our last in St. George, but the excitement of spending the holiday with my family has once again obscured the logical portion of my brain. This probably will be the last one, seeing as our kids are getting much more observant and there are now 3 of them to try and hide presents from in the close confines of the minivan. I am feeling more upbeat about this trip, though. We have a good car now. We don't have a newborn to deal with. And the snow is supposed to taper off by tomorrow afternoon. Yep, it's gonna be a good trip (fingers crossed).