You Might Be a Mom If...

You might be a mom if....

You have cleaned baby poop off of 3 or more surfaces (ie floor, wall, crib, carseat, coutertop, bum, shoe, books, etc.)

When you clean out your purse, you find receipts for The Children's Place, OshKosh, Carter's, Baby Gap, and Babies R Us, but you are still wearing clothes from the late 90's.

Your grocery list consists of Mac & Cheese, Spaghetti-O's, fruit cups, Jell-O, Otter Pops, Capri Suns, and Band-Aids.

Your church experience every week more closely resembles a cage match to the death rather than spiritual enlightenment.

You are told more than once a day by more than one small person that you have a squishy tummy.

At the end of the day, you feel very much like someone dragged out into the wilderness, covered you with corn, and released a flock of hungry chickens to swarm around you and peck you to death with their razor sharp beaks.

Your stomach appears to have been mauled by Bengal tigers.

You've thought to yourself, "My, the color of this shirt really brings out the bags under my eyes."

You can talk on the phone, make dinner, hold a baby, help a kid with homework, and scrub the kitchen floor all at the same time.

You call all your children "sweetheart" or "buddy" because, at any given moment, you can't remember their real names.

You have recovered a Polly Pocket shoe from someones nose and/or ear.

You have to psych yourself up before going out in public with your children by saying things like, "Bring It!" and "You're going DOWN this time, SUCKA!"

You feel a strange sense of accomplishment when you are able to successfully suck boogers out of your babies nose with a bulb syringe.

You know what a bulb syringe is.

You know every song ever sung by any and all Disney Princesses.

You have to wear a plastic crown while eating lunch because "you are the evil Queen today."

All of your disposable income goes to diapers, wipes, formula, dollar store toys, and visits to the InstaCare.

You know how to play ball, Barbies, Candyland, house, and war.

You think it's cute when your baby bites your finger with that surprisingly piercing first tooth of his.

You wake up every day, clean the house, feed the children, read stories, play games, clean the house, feed the children, read stories, play games, clean the house, feed the children, etc etc.

You do all these things and much more, and you wouldn't have your life any other way!

Happy Mother's Day!